Tough Love Tuesday

For this Two Cents Tuesday – I’m going to give you a little tough lovin.’

Cut it out.  Stop your excuses.  Quit doing that.  Get rid of that self-defeating attitude.

Ouch, right?  It stings a bit to hear, but it comes from a place of understanding and love…truly.  Because I too, battle the same demons.

We have somehow managed to let ourselves make up every excuse in the book why we aren’t happy, successful, healthy, fulfilled and content.  We keep playing those worn out tapes in our heads how we don’t have enough, we aren’t enough, and everyone else has it easier than us.  We use the kids, our jobs, and our obligations as an excuse for not having what we want….for being helpless in our own lives.

But the truth is, they are just that…excuses.  Life-draining little thoughts that stop us dead in our tracks.  Excuses are nothing more than fear-based beliefs with better PR.  We love to explain all the reasons why we can’t do something because deep down, it gives us the out from doing some tough work…the work of getting on with it and creating the life we dream of.  Trust me, I know that excuses have some legitimacy and they feel so very real – but the issue here is that we allow them to take what we want and need away from us.  We allow our fears and misunderstandings to rip the life force out of us….because frankly, it’s easier.  It’s the easy way out.

Taking action is hard, making an excuse is easy.  Words vs. Action – you do the math.

I’m going to use the common excuse I’ve heard from friends (and myself) over and over – “I don’t have enough time.”  Think about it – you don’t have enough time.  I am too busy.  I barely have enough time in the day to do all the things I need to do, forget about the things I want to do.  Any of this sound familiar?  Ok, yes, I will give you a little room here – some days are very hectic, between raising kids, our jobs, cooking dinner, running errands, making phone calls, or checking our Facebook (ahhh yes, you have time for that somehow), that you just fall into bed exhausted, wondering how you are going to make it through the week.  Life can be tiring.

BUT – here is the big Buddha Balboa but we all love – we can change the exhaustion to exhilaration if we lift the self-imposed barriers and we trash the excuses.  It is all within our power.

“You know, I could lose weight and be healthy if I had a personal trainer and a private chef like Oprah does,” said a friend or two of mine.  (And even Oprah herself mentioned this excuse on her show.)  The truth of this statement is this – it may be EASIER to get healthy with a trainer and chef on staff, but losing weight or eating better is not out of anyone’s control, despite the size of their bank account.  Yes – do the rich people of our world have some “advantages” that we don’t – like more money, or more free time on their hands….perhaps.  But, everyone has the same  opportunities to design a life that feeds them, on a meaningful level, in some small (or large) way.  Money, prestige, power does not give that to you – you do.

“I would love to work with children somehow, but my job takes up all my time, it’s impossible”  said a colleague of mine.  The word impossible is a road block.  Take it out of your vocabulary right now.  I’m going on a limb here saying anything is possible – and that’s not self-help mumbo jumbo,  it’s a belief system that allows for doors to open and goodness to flow into your life.  It’s a belief in yourself that if you want something, you can have it.  And here’s the kicker – it’s going to take work.  But, work that you are going to love.  Work that is going to fill you with a sense of drive and purpose that will help you smash those excuses to pieces.

Changing your mind – the way you think about a situation or view a certain obstacle – can aid you significantly in this task.  Taking a clear look at where you are and where you would like to go is the best way to smooth the road ahead.  I don’t want to scare you off by saying it’s all going to be hard work and annoying – because that’s not true.  Some changes are easy to make – and many of those are as simple as changing your viewpoint.  Seeing your excuses with an honest and open heart.  It may be a lot easier than you think.

Kick your excuses to the curb.   Whenever one comes gurgling up to the surface, kick it out.  Pay attention to what you are telling yourself and telling the outside world next time you are complaining to your friend how you don’t have enough money to take a vacation, or you don’t get enough sleep because you stay up late watching television.  Again, pay attention.

I’m ripping off your Band-Aid because you don’t need it anymore.  – BB