Keepin’ It Clean

Don’t put on your new shirt until after you’ve brushed your teeth.

That’s it.  Simple but valid advice.

It may not seem important in the big scheme of things, but sometimes it’s the little things that count.  Like keeping your new shirt clean.

I got dressed for work this morning, as I’ve done thousands of times before, and I put on a new (brightly colored) blouse that I recently purchased and never worn.  Today was its debut.  One of the last things I do in my daily routine is brush my teeth (2 times – I know it’s a little OCD of me) – and then finish my makeup and head for the door. 

Because this new shirt is “silky” in nature, I bent even further over the sink than normal, hoping to alleviate the water splash that can come with tooth brushing/rinsing.  I finished, grabbed my bag and hit the road.  Ah, success.

Until.  Until I gazed down during my bus commute and noticed little white spots on my blouse in the morning sun.  DAMN, I thought.  Come on Liz, really?  I thought you escaped the immediate dirt attraction that usually accompanies a new outfit.  I proceeded to attempt to “scrape” the little dots off the shiny ruffles, but to no avail.  Oh well, I thought.  Whatever.  I decided to pretend it wasn’t happening and looked out the window.

Ok, yes it’s a little obsessive, but when you buy new things (clothes, furniture, rugs) you would like them to stay pristine for awhile.   I’m not saying forever – but maybe at least through just ONE wearing….is that too much to ask?

I have a running joke with a friend of mine about white clothing.  Although I love all things white (including sheets, furniture, teeth), white clothes produce fear in my veins.  I just KNOW that the second I put on white pants or a white shirt, a speck of dirt magnetically attaches itself to me.  I could be in a vacuum sealed room and somehow a piece of determined dirt will find me.  You thought you could escape me, but haha, I will hunt you down wherever you hide.  White pants – not for me.  Perhaps when I get to heaven (if I’m so fortunate and there is such a place) the dress code afforded to me will be a fabulous pair of white jeans, a white top made of only the finest silk, and a pair of Louboutin white leather stilettos, without a scuff mark in sight.  Ah yes, heaven will be spotless.

Don’t worry, I’m over it already. After all, I do understand that there is the thing called a washing machine or the dry cleaners that can erase my fears by days end.  It’s not like I need to go to the river and beat my blouse with a rock until sundown (which would pretty much ruin this blouse altogether….so mental note, no rock beating of clothing…check.)

I guess the moral of this story is to let it go.  Life is messy.  New shirts get toothpaste on them.  Shirt sleeves get stained.  Pants get torn.  Shoes get scuffed.  Things get dirty.

Down and dirty.  Very Buddha Balboa, no? – BB