Two Cents Tuesday Archives - Page 3 of 4

Remembering

Today’s Two Cents Tuesday is about remembrance.

It’s 9/11. And we all know what that means. It’s a sad day for our country and a day we will never forget.

As a writer and a happiness guide, my skills fall short today. Because words, although beautiful and healing, can never completely capture the pain or provide relief for an event this big. All I can do, we can do, is be kind to one another today – to let our hearts be our guide, to use a hug as expression.

It is our duty as a nation to remember those we lost and this horrible day in our history. Not as a way to keep us in pain or in a state of anger, but as a pathway to hope and forgiveness. To let this day be a reminder that we are meant to be vessels of love and compassion, not intolerance and violence.

We can’t change what happened that September day, but we can always remember and honor those who died and those who fought through the endless days of recovery. We can treat each other with the respect each of us deserves. And we can create a future that is filled with joy and happiness for generations to come – so that we will never have to live through this again.

We have the power to do that – by always remembering. – BB

Room for Improvement

It’s Two Cents Tuesday…

According to most magazine covers, they have all the answers. At least that’s what I discovered at the local newsstand.

I like to plant myself in front of the racks and scan the colorful glossy’s. From Cosmopolitan to Self, InStyle to Real Simple, we are bombarded by headlines declaring that we don’t measure up.

Thin Thighs in 5 Minutes

10 Ways to Update Your Wardrobe

How to Please Your Man from Morning to Night

Give Gifts That They’ll Remember

I can’t help but be drawn in. Who wouldn’t want thinner thighs in just 5 minutes? Wow, can it be that simple? Have I been exercising 5 days a week the past year for naught?

It appears these periodicals have the answers to life’s biggest problems. Perhaps they should tackle the substantial topics, the truly important questions – Is there Life after Death? What is True Love? Is Elvis Still Alive?

Instead, we’re told that we’re borderline inadequate. Whatever state we’re in – financially, personally or professionally – just isn’t good enough. After all, isn’t there always room for improvement?

Yes – could we all learn to use our time more wisely – of course. Couldn’t we all try to be a bit more patient in times of stress – I believe so. Shouldn’t our closets be a little less cluttered? I suppose. But why can’t our lives, no matter what state they currently reside in, be plain old good enough? Like toast and jam, aren’t our lives complete in their simplicity? Or do they need to be overloaded with an unending parade of condiments, muddling up their flavor?

My thighs may not be perfect but 5 minutes a day will never make them Heidi Klum’s thighs. Don’t lead me down the primrose path of perfection only to abandon me in a maze of thorns. It’s hard enough to maintain my mini vial of self-esteem without some glistening, airbrushed magazine beauty telling me that I need a bigger cup.

As I’ve discussed before, the self-help section of any bookstore is injury enough, causing many of us to wonder how we ever get through the day. There’s a book for every human suffering. Since the dawn of the industrial revolution, we have found that in freeing ourselves from the demands of physical survival that we have burdened ourselves with idle minds malady. We now have enough time on our hands to fret about the fact that our lipstick doesn’t have enough staying power. That our financial portfolios are lacking. Or that our behinds are just a little too large.

When are any of us good enough? When do we declare that our laundry detergent just doesn’t need to be new and improved?

Today’s the day.

How about one last article for the proverbial road entitled “Kicking the Perfect Habit: 7 Ways to Let Yourself Go.” I feel better already.

Tough Love Tuesday

For this Two Cents Tuesday – I’m going to give you a little tough lovin.’

Cut it out. Stop your excuses. Quit doing that. Get rid of that self-defeating attitude.

Ouch, right? It stings a bit to hear, but it comes from a place of understanding and love…truly. Because I too, battle the same demons.

We have somehow managed to let ourselves make up every excuse in the book why we aren’t happy, successful, healthy, fulfilled and content. We keep playing those worn out tapes in our heads how we don’t have enough, we aren’t enough, and everyone else has it easier than us. We use the kids, our jobs, and our obligations as an excuse for not having what we want….for being helpless in our own lives.

But the truth is, they are just that…excuses. Life-draining little thoughts that stop us dead in our tracks. Excuses are nothing more than fear-based beliefs with better PR. We love to explain all the reasons why we can’t do something because deep down, it gives us the out from doing some tough work…the work of getting on with it and creating the life we dream of. Trust me, I know that excuses have some legitimacy and they feel so very real – but the issue here is that we allow them to take what we want and need away from us. We allow our fears and misunderstandings to rip the life force out of us….because frankly, it’s easier. It’s the easy way out.

Taking action is hard, making an excuse is easy. Words vs. Action – you do the math.

I’m going to use the common excuse I’ve heard from friends (and myself) over and over – “I don’t have enough time.” Think about it – you don’t have enough time. I am too busy. I barely have enough time in the day to do all the things I need to do, forget about the things I want to do. Any of this sound familiar? Ok, yes, I will give you a little room here – some days are very hectic, between raising kids, our jobs, cooking dinner, running errands, making phone calls, or checking our Facebook (ahhh yes, you have time for that somehow), that you just fall into bed exhausted, wondering how you are going to make it through the week. Life can be tiring.

BUT – here is the big Buddha Balboa but we all love – we can change the exhaustion to exhilaration if we lift the self-imposed barriers and we trash the excuses. It is all within our power.

“You know, I could lose weight and be healthy if I had a personal trainer and a private chef like Oprah does,” said a friend or two of mine. (And even Oprah herself mentioned this excuse on her show.) The truth of this statement is this – it may be EASIER to get healthy with a trainer and chef on staff, but losing weight or eating better is not out of anyone’s control, despite the size of their bank account. Yes – do the rich people of our world have some “advantages” that we don’t – like more money, or more free time on their hands….perhaps. But, everyone has the same opportunities to design a life that feeds them, on a meaningful level, in some small (or large) way. Money, prestige, power does not give that to you – you do.

“I would love to work with children somehow, but my job takes up all my time, it’s impossible” said a colleague of mine. The word impossible is a road block. Take it out of your vocabulary right now. I’m going on a limb here saying anything is possible – and that’s not self-help mumbo jumbo, it’s a belief system that allows for doors to open and goodness to flow into your life. It’s a belief in yourself that if you want something, you can have it. And here’s the kicker – it’s going to take work. But, work that you are going to love. Work that is going to fill you with a sense of drive and purpose that will help you smash those excuses to pieces.

Changing your mind – the way you think about a situation or view a certain obstacle – can aid you significantly in this task. Taking a clear look at where you are and where you would like to go is the best way to smooth the road ahead. I don’t want to scare you off by saying it’s all going to be hard work and annoying – because that’s not true. Some changes are easy to make – and many of those are as simple as changing your viewpoint. Seeing your excuses with an honest and open heart. It may be a lot easier than you think.

Kick your excuses to the curb. Whenever one comes gurgling up to the surface, kick it out. Pay attention to what you are telling yourself and telling the outside world next time you are complaining to your friend how you don’t have enough money to take a vacation, or you don’t get enough sleep because you stay up late watching television. Again, pay attention.

I’m ripping off your Band-Aid because you don’t need it anymore. – BB

Not a fan of ‘cians

As the political season heats up, I would like to declare something this Two Cents Tuesday – and here goes – I’m not a big fan of Politicians.

Oh I know – discussions of politics is high on the list of what to avoid with friends, colleagues and family. And I understand why – it’s a polarizing subject – with strong emotion attached.

But if we are all honest, many of us would say we dislike politicians. I know why I do – because I view them as magicians without tricks. I can see up their sleeves. The outward appearance may be that they are in it to help you, me, the community. But are they really? I’m a skeptic. Think about it – they make promises they can NEVER keep, they say what they think the voters want to hear, they tout their abilities to get things done (but we all know it takes a governing “body” of folks to get things done and that no Lone Ranger can create true change.) They are well-dressed, well-rehearsed talking heads. And the worst thing is – that it’s so transparent.

I want to believe them so badly. I really do. I want to have faith that the next guy or gal in office will do better – that they will have the will of the people at the top of their agenda. Unfortunately, we are so often let down – through their actions, through the web of bureaucracy that ties our political system into knots.

I have a proposal – I suggest that if you’re running for office, don’t tell me anything. Shrug your shoulders and let your message be “I’ll give it a shot.” And if you don’t make good on what we expected of you, you give the taxpayers a refund – of your salary the entire time you were in office. That sounds like a bi-partisan policy I can back.

I will vote when it comes time as it’s my civic duty and a privilege. But it’s hard to pull the lever when I’m crossing my fingers. – BB